The Ironies of Life & Living - Q

Q had always wanted to be a newsreader on radio. Newsreaders exude an aura of confidence and reading the news over the air gives them an image of being very informative and knowledgeable. Thirty years down the line, Q can only be proud to say that one of her students has made a career of being a newsreader over radio.

The Ironies of Life and Living - P

P  had doted on her three children, especially the youngest. When she was informed that she was having the fourth, she had mixed feelings. How could she look after all four children since her husband had got a transfer to a town far away from his hometown? She would have no help and so would not be able to manage on her own. She felt torn as to what to do but the only solution was to give away the youngest to her sister-in-law who was childless. She then gave her undivided attention to the youngest of the remaining three children. Ironically, years later the youngest of the three was the one who turned against her and seemed to show the least care and concern for her. 

The Ironies of Life & Living - O

O was seen crying in the corner. Her friend asked her what the matter was. She explained that her daughter did not welcome her to stay with her new family abroad. O lamented that all she had wanted was to spend the holidays with them. She was devastated and felt that her daughter was thoughtless and self-centred. The truth of the matter was that the daughter had suggested an alternative date so that it coincided with the school holidays and O could spend more time with her grandchildren. However, O herself was being thoughtless and self-centred because she didn’t consider her daughter’s situation. O's daughter was a young working mother and wife.

The Ironies of Life & Living - N

N observed his stepdaughter’s character. She was quiet and often played dumb. N swore that he would never want a daughter who would be so quiet that she would not know how to express herself. He decided to teach his own daughter from young how to stand up for her rights and speak her mind. Now he regretted it because as a young adult, she had become rebellious and hard to control. She refused to listen to him and was always doing the exact opposite of what he had expected of her.

The Ironies of Life and Living - M

When M saw her mother suffering in her old age, she asked God to take away her suffering. “If you could give me just half of the sufferings my mother is going through, I will gladly bear it,” she bargained with God. M began getting aches in her bones and tingly feelings in her legs. She even had sleepless nights but accepted it in her stride. She was exasperated as even after her mother had passed away, the aches and pains still persisted. It was only a few years later when she realized that her biological mother (who was still living) had been having aching bones and tingly legs. Had she been sharing the pain of her biological mother rather than the pain of the mother who had taken care of her from young?

Some hilarious incidents during lessons!

1. When talking about a break-in, a student enquired, “Why the body don’t lock the door?”

2.When the students were asked what term was used for one’s grandmother’s grandmother, a student quipped, “Ghost”.

3. A cute seven-year-old was singing the nursery rhyme ‘Mary had a little lamb’. Somehow it didn’t sound so right, so I asked her to sing it a little louder.  I had a good laugh when I heard that she had been singing, ‘Mary had a little man’.

4. In the last paragraph of a personal letter to an ex-classmate now living in another state, a student wrote, “I will be illegally waiting for your reply!”.

5. “I take a mutual stand on this issue,” a student said. Something did not sound right about that statement. Try as I might, I couldn’t get the exact word. References to collocations brought no results. So I turned to friends and relatives before I was enlightened. The student had meant to say, “I take a neutral stand’.

Anecdotes concerning misused English

1. I am at present exposing students to forming acceptable English words in the form of nouns, adverbs, adjectives and verbs. When I asked my Form 5 students, "What is the verb for the word ‘danger’?", one of them promptly replied ‘dange’.

2. When I asked the Upper Primary students what an apron was, a Year 4 student said, “Mother cooked the thing to wear.”

3. When referring to a photo, I asked a student about the children in the photo. "When was this photo taken? Was it taken when they were sick or after they had got better?" She promptly replied, ‘When they were sicking.”

4. My students are quite confused as to why a hen can lay an egg but a mother does not lay a baby.

5. Masterskills is a college of Nursing and Health in Malaysia. If pronounced wrongly, it somehow would not be a college I would recommend to anyone who wants to take up nursing. My student pronounced it as ‘Master Kills’.

6. This incident was told to me by my friend whose son recently sat for the SPM exam. He was supposed to write a letter to the local City Council. He confidently wrote his salutation, “Dear Mr and Mrs Council’.